Dear Charlie Brown,
I too have trouble figuring out Christmas. Its really never appealled to me. I remember going to the church as kids for free Christmas presents. My parents did the best two crazy kids could and I'm grateful, blessed even. I have my own octagon bouts with faith and religion even though faith is what should be driving me but I just don't know sometimes. Unfortunately, I also know the EXACT measurements of a red head girl shaped hole carved into my soul. Bruce Lee taught me to be like water. Pour water into a glass, it becomes the glass. Pour water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You pour anything into that silhouette and you just become jaded and bitter. You have to run your hands across it and let the feeling burn into your body like muscle memory of the third degree. And don't do anything with it but accept it. Really let it sink in. Listen Block Head, this isn't a pick me up or put you down, I'm just trying to do my best with what I have. I have friends who play ballet with their finger tips on piano keys and it unlocks words inside of me that I file under The Cypher. I have the best f***** friends that any wino could axe for because they would timber in fast foward to break my fall at a moment's notice just to relieve some of the pain etched across my facial Ex-pressions. My family, shit... MY family has carried a degenerate like me from the womb to detours to my tombstone and god dam's of grace broken open any time prayers are spoken from my poets. I'm just happy to be here, ya know? Charles, listen, I'm still playing 52 pick up myself from my house of cards falling down, but, this pagan/christian holiday mash up can be more just hall Mark, Luke warm whiskey, floor Matt hearts, and dear John letters you keep underneath your mattress. Just, whatever you do, just don't let that fire burn out. Once you do, you're already dead. Just keep going. And maybe, one day, all of this holiday stuff will make sense instead of corporate cents.
Signed, DCR
P.S. "Everything was beautiful. And nothing hurt" - Jonathan Brown
--So much Hidden Divinity--
You have so much you want to do.
police the passions that were previously stolen from you
file a court house restraining order against your selfish depression
find a divorce lawyer in the basement of Bourbon bottle
cop a sexy cocktail dress for the pity parties to come
cop a tux for the heartbreaks you'll soon be the Honoree of
smile for the Makers Mark mug shots you'll knock out of the park
theres not nearly enough common sense in loves lost and found
The light switch looks lonely
trusting in yourself is a wine glass half empty
the dirty dishes in the sink is a mosh pit of neglect
a spineless smile isn't as bad to bone as your beautiful is
so you get over yourself the same way an erection does
Big bad wolf in negligee clothing
get dressed up and blow the entire damn house down
flash a sunshine smile into the ears of corns on feet
thats been allowing you to run from yourself
successfully
…find a mirror the can find a flipping clue as to whats copy written beautiful in you
-CP maze
Nursing Home Alabama Shakes
Part One
I've seen it
How music cries
How aging; how Time
Effects Gravity
How Gravity affects us
I've seen it
(Patient #1)
In the way her lightly charred face falls
Cheeks drooping trying to
catch down with her
reckless
selfish
tears
She sits in a wheelchair
carries a doll in her lap
It's a white doll with yellow yarn for hair
She pulls me close and within 10 minutes of meeting her
She asks "Are you coming to take me home?"
(Patient #2)
In his fetal posture
Voice of madness and
Mental state of abandonment & leave me alone
Five o'clock shadows & Voluntary negligence
When we met
I was holding a cheep razor
And no shaving cream
Within five minutes
I Colored Purpled the skin on his face
Each stroke sounded like
Velcro and forced humility
(Patient #3)
In her hat
Her feathered Bold
red church hat
She wears everyday
Only takes it off to shower and do her hair
She's got pictures on the wall from
When she was a hot tamale
When she was young and self sufficient
When she felt like she mattered
On day two
All the laughs had submerged
Her eyes were an over cast
Her emotions were a thunderstorm
It indeed had rained in her mouth
And in all of this
I think to myself
Damn, I'm just an intern
-BLK SWAN
November 28, 2014
Passenger seat drivers.
OK so this summer I started a new part time job.
I love to teach so I wrote after a few ads and I eventually landed a nice little position being a Drivers Ed. Instructor.
A few things I have noticed about the job is that of course I get to meet some great kids and I also get to see the state of how driving, in general is, around Southern Colorado.
My impressions so far have been mixed.
Talking to and educating teens, especially from geographically affluent areas gives me a certain insight.
I have come to the conclusion that the young ladies compared to the guys are overall better drivers.
Don’t know why that is apart from testosterone.
The other thing I have noticed is that in order to pass your driving test out here it is an extremely simple and easy process.
The test itself lasts between 12-15 minutes. You are allowed to do two violations (anything that can cause a ticket) and still pass. You are also allowed up to and including 20 minor violations (or points) included with the two violations and STILL pass.
Basically, if you have one eye, one leg and one arm in my opinion you shouldn’t fail.
Now, contrast that with testing in the UK and it’s a considerably different scenario.
Firstly, you have to pass a written test BEFORE any driving test is done. That, in and of itself would exclude the majority of people out here.
Secondly most people in the UK (most of the world actually) are tested on manual (stick) cars. So you have to learn to drive manual.
Lastly the test itself is much more stringent, including emergency stops, J turns, 3 point turns and others.
The pass rate for the written test is about 51% and for the drive test is about 43% in the UK.
I firmly believe that if the test out here was like what you get in Europe public transportation would be a whole lot better because there would be a need to get to and from. There would be very few people driving cars because it would be too difficult for the average American to pass!!
-TDB
Empty
There's an emptiness inside of you that Id like to resolve
And I never asked for such a
Twisted roll in all of my encounters
But
I tend to feed the beast
The lust has had me gushing
More like fucking
Heart wrenching
Not the type of convulsions for entertainment
More like
An oracle
For you optical
Fulfillment
But they don't feel shit
They like the movement
Don't ask me shit
I'm not here for you
Self loving & loathing in the
Exact same moment
Yeah
I got this
Why check on me
When you haven't looked at your self lately
Am I safe?
Never claimed to be
Spread out in so many decrees
I mean turn up the degrees
All these boys
Can't stand the heat
Have some fun
In the sun
Then return
Home.
-Sunny
