To Those We’ve Lost
For me, remembrance of loved ones who have passed on happens several times a year. Losing both of my grandfathers at an early age, the surreal nature of a funeral never really made much sense to me, but at that age, little actually makes sense, so you just kind of go along with it. Cognizant of the loss, it was the saying goodbye that I had no idea how to process. Parents sheltering us from the open casket wake, I remember standing with my brothers by a lake in Massachusetts laughing hysterically after the tension of crying and mourning all day had become too much for any of us to handle any longer. Seeking shelter in that defense mechanism, looking back it would be impossible to count all the times I laughed to keep from crying.
When my friend Kyle took his own life shortly after high school, the shock of the loss, the feeling that one of my friends or family might not wake up tomorrow, whether at their own hands or otherwise, never got a chance to fade before Jorge chose to join Kyle. Trading laughter for a sea of Schlitz cans and tear soaked funeral suits, the sting of my friends’ suicides within 6 months of each other is something I have never fully recovered from. Doing my best to express my love and gratitude to my friends and family as much as possible, missed late night phone calls now leave me with a notable amount of anxiety until I am able to confirm that everything is alright the next morning.
Over ten years since I lost two of my best friends, this familiar wound would once again find itself bleeding profusely with the loss of my step sister on my birthday three years ago. While not all that close as kids, we found a common ground with the written and spoken word, and on one amazing night as she was making her way across the country on a solo road trip, we even got to share a stage for the length of poem. A proud member of Albuquerque’s poetry community, her traditional funeral was followed by celebration of her life and work at Warehouse 508 (a former strip club turned youth arts facility), featuring some of the cities most talented voices. One of the most fitting and beautiful remembrance ceremonies I have ever been a part of, that night Emily’s spirit brought together several different families and made them one.
Capable of cutting both ways, our words have the power to drive each other apart or bring people together, and can make families out of strangers. Choose your words wisely, tell the people you love the way you feel as much as possible, and if you need help, ask. People will miss you when you are gone, so make the most of your time here.
-Joshua Genius
Halloweenie
I have mixed emotions about Halloween. As a kid I never really got that involved, simply because in the UK it wasn’t as big as Guy Fawkes Night which historically had a huge connection with the public.
Jumping to modern day, Halloween is as big in the UK now if not bigger than poor ‘Old Guy’s night out’.
I enjoy the social aspect even though I have been to some good and not so good Halloween parties. I on occasion like to ‘dress up’ as us Brits will put on a costume for most anything.
A few years ago I went to a party dressed in a pink chiffon dress as a beauty queen, the whole nine yards with make-up etc.
Seeing as I am 6ft5ins and 330lbs +, I was quite the catch let me tell you.
Unfortunately I was roofied and raped mercilessly by high school football players.
(No just kidding…..bad taste joke there……I will write about high school rape and how high school athletes especially, get away with it, at a later date.)
Moving on……
The whole trick or treat thing you should give up when you get past 16 or so.
Great for kids, crap for the adults walking around unless you’re drunk or stoned, preferably both. As a dad I did enjoy it with my daughter many times though.
A new idea.
I think there should be alcohol and pot stations discreetly stashed, so that while the kids are gorging their faces off with candy corn ( I LOATHE that yellow-orange crap) and mini-size chocolate bars the adults should do a few jello shots and a quick bowl. Sounds good to me.
Perhaps the thing I like the most about Halloween is the horror genre that is so closely attached to it. The haunted houses, vampires, ghouls, ghosts, monsters etc.
So for me watching some great old or new scary movies is definitely what I look forward to.
Happy Hallows Eve.
TDB.
Wizard of Art
I don’t remember at what point
I discovered that poetry
Was part of my daily prophet
Of nonprofits,
But art always wrote her name
In the horizon,
Like she was the Wicked Witch
Of the West and I was
Dorothy.
Art was transformative,
Leading me down a
Yellow brick road
Of dance, theatre, music,
Writing poetry.
I remember watching
My very first play when
I was 6 months old,
Acting when I was five,
Dancing when I was six,
Playing piano when I was seven,
Playing harp when I was eleven,
Choir when I was thirteen,
But art was transformative.
I was first published at age nine,
And have written nearly a thousand
Since that time.
My poetry was a wish on
Glinda’s popped bubble.
I wanted an art form that
Would make my family proud.
But flying monkeys and
Broomsticks made a comeback,
And I learned to defy gravity,
Keep transforming,
Keep changing my art,
And today is no different.
No poppies are putting me to sleep.
It’s just my companions and me,
Creating art,
My wizard is my muse.
He’s been granting me a ticket
Back to where I belong:
Clicking my heels together,
Whispering wishes in melodies,
And finding that home
Is where the art is.
-Seraphine
November 1st, 2013
Live and Let Write
I used to think, live and let die. You came into this place kicking and screaming, might as well go out peacefully if you get that option. Hopefully surrounded by loved ones with all your demons laid to rest sometime before then. Lately I've seen dust kicked up from the goat hooved ones and all my crucifixes just aren't cutting it. Maybe I lost whatever power I put into them. Maybe I started to believe what everyone else has always told me. We're all human. No one is perfect. I never wronged a soul in my dreams and I sure as music never slowed down a single second despite the damage taken from my enemies. When I wake up, I feel the same way. Like this is me. Never slowing down, not understanding the concept of giving up. Tolls are always taken on the high roads. Some souls just want to grow old. But what about the ones born that way. The ones that know of an existence past this skin we're in. "The devil never dies. You just have to keep killing him." Whenever I show power or strength over someone, I feel like a monster. When I lift someone up back to their feet is when I feel strongest. When I drown out the voices of anything that isn't the natural instinct spilling from my dream hangovers. It's easy to be left on dry banter and let the days conversations take you to a human place. I try my best. And fail my friends when I don't. I don't want to go peacefully. I don't want it to be up to me. I want to kick, fight, write my way back every chance until someone decides it's my time to write on a new page.
-DCR
XXV
Celebration of life is vital. Through my education especially-- I have been exposed to various cultural traditions and ways of life. The Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos, is a true representation of spirit. I have been honored to create ofrendas, or altars, for course requirements throughout graduate school. This year, I dedicated my altar to Bob Marley and I have placed 2nd out of 72 different ofrendas. I can not begin to explain how validated & honored I feel to have my creativity recognized, especially here in the Texas panhandle where culture is not necessarily embraced. I am happy that others will be able to witness the spirit of Bob and RastafarI. The celebration of Day of the Dead transformed me last year. I have always struggled existentially with death, or transcendence, since I experienced bereavement of my father at the age of 4. While I was attending a big event last year for Day of the Dead I was hit straight in the heart. Something spoke to me and said, "It's okay". It's okay to mourn, for a lifetime, it's okay to question, to feel, I mean really FEEL pain. To be it. It is life. And now, that black-hole has been filled with a light. I am slowly beginning to understand that this life isn't all there is. This earth suit is a blessing that I take for granted, and you would think that (after near death experiences, having a child of my own, getting older, the formation of my corpus callosum, etc.) I would not emulate being immortal--like I am exempt from life's limits and rules. I have studied hard, and even earned several degrees to understand myself and this life. But, what really happened is that I came to be. I am who I am, and the art of acceptance is what has helped me blossom. I can be angry with death, with life, with existence. And I feel my soul soothed by peering into spiritual elements. That night I was sitting in a room full of hundreds of 'prestigious' university people--I was listening to a author speak of his experience in Mexico as a young child around the time of Dia de los Muertos. He spoke of his memory of inspiration for his children's books (in particular) about Day of the Dead. He said some things about how he understood [through this celebration of "the dead"] that he felt his own spirit come alive. And what I interpret about his notion of 'alive'--is to live--really LIVE--not exist. Therefore, I opened up and my views altered themselves. I walked out of that experience with a piece of my heart put back into place. I have had a broken heart since I can remember, my Dad was my rock. Now, when I put my self in a spiritual place, I know who I am and what this life is about. It is about embracing it, and creating, and loving--breathing--exuding LIGHT y'all. I am Sunny. I am here for a reason, and so are you. The transcendence of spirit is something I have opened up to looking forward to. I wont regret a thing--even being kicked in the face by my spouse has produced some major growth on my part. Think what you want, but I know what's up. This aint it. We are just blessed to be here, in this time, so do something with it okay? All peace and love.
Sunny