February 28, 2014

The Answer

Even if it was handed to me in absolute proven truthiness, I would still follow my heart to a fantasy filled possibility. I guess that's what they mean when they call me a hopeless romantic, dressed in insult undertones. Like only fools fall face first in love. Even the answers I've given myself I refused to use. Just made it all so melodramatic. Warning signs and caution tape always give so much ambience to a date. Friends and family serenading dinner to run away, it just steels my heart into knowing this is the one. My heart is hard headed. My eyes are always hungry. My mind is excused when there is a muse in the room. Love has always been for the blessed or insane. I've seen healthy happy couples together and I've never been so thirsty. I want a fucken 40 of that shit asap. Won't even bag it. Hold it bare handed. Makes me wonder if they knew something I didn't. If they had started out with the same kind of relationship I did or found a more comfortable start. Was my failure in not working hard enough or trying to build castles for queens who's self esteem was always a shady foundation despite all of the concrete reassurance I poured into them. Not all of the halfway houses were on them. Sometimes I would start constructions projects and just bail to a different blueprint. Always just bail, never put in two weeks to quit.

No one likes to see a fire die out. They're not birthday candles. You have to snuff out a flame with sand in its face but the smell of smoke never really goes away. Especially in the morning when the air is cold and the memory is warm.

Most of the time I'm just talking to myself in most of these. Every now and then I'll write a letter to moonshine source and hope she catches it on the dark side of overcome everything bothering us. You ever feel too old to live? Like you've been HERE so long everyday is a rerun that you've played through empires, democracies, and anarchies before? And you're just like, this paradigm isn't what I came back for.

Clothes on mind off. Have to hit the time clock like a bully for lunch money. I'm packing my sanity here to eat later. Even if someone gave me the recipe for happiness, I would probably still experiment with new flames and probably pop an ex. Never sweat in though. Always just rollin to the next hopelessly romantick.

-DCR

Again

I told myself that I will never fall in love again

The feeling of standing is firm

And gravity serves as sanity

So you don't feel like you are always in flight mode

Defense

Not knowing when the fight of the fall

Will hit you catching you constantly off guard

I've never felt quite like this

Well, maybe a fleeting feeling

And I have said this before

Not sure what I mean until I know it

Feelings speak their own tone to where to soul only hears it--Traces on my lips and sinners telling me half truths projected by their unfaithful hearts.

I love, and I love intensely with no questions to answers that feel like heaven.

And the way you look at me makes me feel worthy, makes me feel pure.I just want to be with you.

I wake up in the middle of the night missing you.

Reminiscing about your scent.

Letting go of thoughts like is this meant to be, with feelings of just let it be. I feel so happy.

That's what you do for me--I'm always content around you.

Comfortable with me.

All I want of you and me is a simple love You make me want to be better when I already excel

Exalt what you mean to me I'm not trying to keep a secret, I just don't need to prove anything For anyone else

My Heart burns

The bottom of my gut yearns for you Sets my soul on fire

You possess and maintain that light

That spot you spark when you put yourself deep inside of me

Wet in a trance

Perfect dance with my bare naked body

-Sunny

Grand Conversation

The alarm clock sounds a lot like a raging wino The comforters as warm as a second graders Homemade valentines day card envelope & I swear yall the carpets feels like

Georgia peach fuzz in the beginning of spring

Ironically I find myself Staring back at an high wire net

Grasping for a tooth brush 20 to the left 20 to the right 20 up & down The words in my mouth

Feels like a creativity of numbers For gods combination lock Just dying to be cracked open

There’s a grand conversation on the horizon

Hey Sunny Nightmare, sometimes I just wish I was.

Hey Epic Dawn, they haven’t named a whiskey after me yet.

Hey Joshua, my closest friends suggest words like closet genius but all I can hear is closet skeletons.

Hey World, if I stop screaming fuck you, will you stop trying to fuck me back.

Hey Jonathan, I miss mailing hand written poems a lot.

Hey Signature bitches, you have messy hand writing.

Hey Love, I miss my mirror image, just like I miss Blk Swans

-Cp Maze

So from a prompt by Joshua Genius to write about ‘life, universe and everything’ I have been racking my THC addled brain to come up with such a profound article as to incite reflection, contemplation and to bestow Universal wisdom upon you.

My normal articles as you know have been definitely one sided in as much as my opinions on politics and why this country and even the world has gone to hell.

So I am going to write briefly about the three ‘B’s’.

BACON

I adore all things pig. I love the animals. They are cute, intelligent and taste so damn good! Every year at Christmas our family buys at least one ‘piggy themed’ article and even though my daughter has just recently gone vegan (good for her) I am sure that a waft of sizzling goodness from the skillet may cause her to think twice and maybe devour a rasher or two. My ‘death row meal’ would have to include bacon somewhere.

BEER

A perfect accompaniment to a bacon ‘butty’ ( Northern English slang for a sandwich) except for maybe a good cup of tea would be some form of ale. As an Englishman we have a tradition of drinking beer throughout history as the water standards ‘back in the day’ were horrendous, beer was brewed and drunk from an early age so as not to drink dirty water. Some substitute.

BUD/BUSH

Now I know there are four ‘B’s’ here but it didn’t rhyme as well so I am hedging my bets.

I couldn’t exclude either one to be honest as I love getting high and I love going low if you get my drift.

Sex and weed are the culmination of ‘life, universe and everything’ for me because when I have both I am as happy as a ‘pig in shit’ (piggy thing again). Conjoin that with a few beers and a bacon butty and I challenge anyone not to have an epiphany of some sort and look deep within.

-TDB.

Infinity Never Lasts

You held me with crossed arms, Intertwining your fingers with mine. Even after we split into you and me,

I still believed my heart had

An infinity plan.

I wanted a ring to know

You were committed,

But rings don't last forever,

Neither do half of marriages today.

But now your silence is the closest thing

To golden that I've ever been given.

I couldn't make our good moments

Last forever,

But I replay them over and over

In my head.

Now it's just like picking a scab.

Some things never fully heal,

But scar the tissues with tears.

I never wrote about our bad moments, Didn't want to make them permanent.

I wanted to forget the bad,

But they haunt me like the ghosts

Of what never was or could be.

Good Lord, I miss you.

I miss us.

But it cannot last forever.

It'll kill me first,

Because, love, you're my infinity.

-Seraphine The Poet