Fear
I don't want it to be the driving force behind my spine. I want to be able to lift my head high out of will power shifting perspective. But lately nothing has motivated my writing hand past a few whims of thought. A failed attempt at grabbing hold of what I feel.
Some would rather feel nothing than to feel pain. Drink away the day and stumble through the night. Using some body as a nightlight to get them through the time their thoughts are darkest. The fear of fucking up. That you can't undo what's already done. Instead of facing it and embracing acceptance they turn life up to its loudest and run at full speed in the direction with the least amount of debris.
I don't want fear to drive me. I've been sitting in the silence letting memories slap me in the face, no guard up, just like in my memories. Keeping no company in these bed sheets. Waiting for the lashing out to grow tired. The anger always passes. Its never a long lasting reaction. With the exception of afterwards when there is no one to hold and ask them where did they go.
Will power has been very difficult to counterfeit. My days consist of FINALLY getting out of bed. Only after I practice do I feel like I'm ok. Poetry has always been a saving a grace. No fear when I perform. No fear when I write. Its the only time I feel powerful. When it has its hands around my throat. Like I wasn't really breathing before, but now I'm back in my element. Gills that require more than air or water. I need to breathe in the smoke, from the fire burning inside.
I've been too lazy to be scared. I have no feelings to hold in. I'm not running away from anything. I'm just letting this poison run its course in my veins. And I do sincerely hope you enjoy today...
-DCR
Meteor
(Dedicated to my Grandpa)
I have a hole in my chest
Where you landed,
A man who could speak more rhymes
Than anyone I'd ever met.
You made me believe I was special,
A star in your galaxy,
And you had me spinning
Through space.
You made me a daydreamer
Because I was less afraid
Of closing my eyes in the daylight
Than having night terrors
Where you were only a whisper
Of the man I remembered.
I remember that it rained that day,
Because the atmosphere was going
On strike against your absence
In my life,
But you were a ghostwriter
On my mother's birthday,
Painting a heart in the sky
To remind her
That it could be easily torn apart
By the breeze
And she needed to be more careful
With carrying it on her sleeve.
I think she buried a piece of it
Under your tombstone
When your body turned to ashes,
But my mother is a gravedigger
During the holidays,
Bringing back up the old memories,
Talking you down out of
Black and white photographs.
But to me, you were just
Grandpa,
I knew you as the man who loved
Poetry and Charles Dickens
But still had storage space
In your heart
For me.
I didn't think I deserved to sit
In your lap when I was the
Young Grasshopper
Of a poet,
But you always encouraged me
To break through walls
With new words and metaphors.
My heart became the Ground Zero
To the disaster of your sickness.
It was a meteor bursting in slow motion
And my mother
Enveloped it into her womb.
The matriarch of my earth
Took in the broken shells,
Collecting the ashes as keepsakes.
But I only witnessed the aftermath,
A shrapnel flying 2,000 miles away
And telling me that poetry
Would be the only way to
Wedge out the lost time.
I feel like I missed
The sighting of something
Earth shattering
Because you left my family
As a Pennsylvania reflection
To the storm you'd created.
I never hit words hard enough
In my poetry to feel like
I could ever wedge out the piece of you
Stuck in my curved vertebrae,
But I'm not sure I want to
Because my heart is a burial ground
Where I keep those I've loved and lost
And there's a tombstone
In the front with your name on it.
I'm sorry I'm not the poet I should be,
And I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance
To say goodbye,
But I promise you,
I'll dedicate every poem to you
Until the day my own meteor
Hits the ground, exploding.
-Seraphine The Poet
Don't Stop Living
As humans, we all tend to shudder at the thought of death. The connotation of death is negative, and dark, as if death is something to be feared. I’ve had my fair share of loss in my near twenty years in this life. Not only have I personally felt loss, but I’ve seen those I love lose friends, family, and even children. While in every case there are the initial feelings of grief and sadness, I’ve also noticed a period of fear soon follows. I believe this fear stems from the unknown. What actually happens when we leave our earthly bodies? Is there something greater than this life? Even when the loss isn’t personal, we feel the grief, sadness, and fear. A couple of weeks ago, there were three public shootings in less than a week. With the number of these violent acts increasing, so does the intensity of an individual’s fear. Fear is such an odd emotion. Feeling fear itself can often inhibit us from living life as truly and fully as we should. I think this is outrageous. If anything, death should be a reminder we only have so long in this life. We only have so many days to feel the warmth of the sun. We only have so many hours to count the stars, and only so many minutes to ensure those close to us know how much we love them. I challenge anyone who takes the time to read this, to consider one question; is the fear worth losing your life? You can choose to spend precious time living in fear of the unknown, wondering if there really is something greater than this life. However, you could live life to the absolute fullest and know in your heart that nothing could possibly be greater than knowing you lived the best life you could. If you take anything from this article, I hope you remember this; fear is never worth the pain of wondering if you could’ve done something different in life. When you lose someone close to you, take your time to grieve and find inner strength to drive you away from the temptation of fear. Live your life to the fullest, and don’t let fear stand in your way.
-Steph
Lost
I’m not sure what terrifies me more
Everything that i have learned
or that which i will never know
Watching this world
tear itself apart at the seams
We hide from reality any way we can
because sometimes its just too painful
to think any more
to feel any more
to be any more
Lost in our own struggle
we ignore cries for help
turn our backs
on those that need it the most
and waste enough
to feed, house, and clothe entire nations
Trapped in a disposable society
until we are no longer worthwhile
most people are so wrapped up
they can't even crack a smile
-Joshua Genius
Bloodlust.
As most of you have figured out by reading my blogs, I tend to be anti-religion, especially right-wing Christians.
Well here is another rant for you to mull over.
In my opinion most of the right-wing morons out there (religious or not) have a morbid appetite for violence, gore, and have no empathy for human or indeed animal suffering.
Link this with certain factors that fuel their evil callous thinking such as financial gain and you come up with an elitist excuse to justify their words and actions.
I don’t think that you will find many Liberal Progressives at such places as dog, bull or even chicken fights where blood, gore and suffering reign supreme amongst the heady atmosphere where cash (their God) is exchanged stained with blood.
I was watching a documentary the other night that kind of highlighted this particular ideology by mentioning Mel Gibson’s fictional (movie the passion of Christ) where JC was brutally beaten and tortured for almost 90% of the actual film.
It just seems that the right wing Christians appetite for violence is more rooted in the Old Testament which was nothing but violence and a revengeful God.
The cherry picking involved when discussing Christian religion with these idiots is astounding as they will pick verses to substantiate and bolster their arguments when in truth if they were real Christians then they would be for peace, love and against everything that the old testament stands for. They should read their new testament but unfortunately their religious leaders don’t have enough material to write sermons on and ‘gin’ up their parishioners to fill the coffers.
The New Testament is filled with helping the poor, the weak, the unable but that is crazy socialist talk and doesn’t fit their screwed up mentality.
-TDB.
15 rules to keep in mind
1. Love yourself. If you take nothing else from my words, remember this one simple rule: your body is a temple. Prayer comes in the form of Patient Reaffirmation. For example, find a mirror, meet your own gaze with the best shade of passionate intensity that you can muster, and repeat after me: I am beautiful. I am worthy of love. I am a deliberate act of the universe.
2. If you find that this does not work, do the exact same thing, but refer to yourself as “Honey.” Repeat the words over and over. Repeat them until they become absurd. Repeat them until tears of laughter make your eyes glow, your stomach starts to flutter, and your heart blushes. This is what it feels like to know that somebody loves you.
3. Accepting yourself isn't enough. One must learn to offer others the same courtesy. This road is a long one navigated with Respect, Understanding, and, most of all
4. Kindness. Train yourself to act impulsively with kindness as your only goal. When the moment arises, act in defense of another; when the time comes, speak out in defiance at the misplaced hatred of others. Seek to heal old injuries and prevent new ones. You'll be glad you did.
5. Money won't always change the world; compassion, however, will. When a homeless man approaches you on the street, hands open, money isn't the only means of assistance. If giving away your hard-earned pocket-change is just too much for you to handle, offer a meal. If you don't think you can afford that, offer a smoke. Don't smoke? Try a hug. Still too much? Make eye-contact and repeat after me: You are beautiful. You are worthy of love. You are a deliberate act of the universe.
6. If this does not work, exercise extreme caution if you choose to call this person “Honey.” There could be unforeseen consequences.
7. When advice is offered to you, listen to it patiently.
8. Not all advice is good advice.
9. Never date a best friend's ex.
10. Don't pour salt in open wounds.
11. A reminder to love yourself.
12. Mind the gap.
13. Never leave your heart exposed.
14. Sometimes rules are arbitrary. Sometimes they are not. Make sure you understand them before you choose to break them.
15. When the dark days come, and they will come, remember the moments when you radiated kindness.
Remember what it feels like to know that somebody loves you.
Remember the smiles on the faces of the friends you have defended and upheld.
Remember the grateful eyes of the beggar during the moments you spent to try and help reaffirm this person's humanity when no one else would. If you still feel like you have nothing left to offer to the world, if the grief from your great tragedy is still too much to bear, if the wolves are howling at your gate, put your hand over your heart and repeat after me We are beautiful We are worthy of love. Our lives are a deliberate act of the universe.
You're not alone, honey.
-Garrett Cathey
Fear of Oneself
Fear is just another
Four letter
Failed invention
Man made projections
Never
last
like
longevity
is a rarity
Non existent
antiquity
lacking mystery
opposite of
Love
what spiritual components
Do you allow
yourself
to
Identify
Your makeup
Glance through
Me
Empty
When
This feeling creeps
Up
In
Me
I don't get scared
But fear
Is like
Floating
In an atmosphere of self
Hate
And I was told that
Love
Would never leave
Us
Alone
But
I can't seem
To see past my own shadow
The dark side of
Being the light
Casting shade
To oneself
Only proves
Complex
Internal
Labryinth
Dissecting
My precious energy
Without
Being
Aware
I will let you
Go there
And take what you
Need
I have an endless
Supply of compassion
Yellow light
I have the power
To ignite
Your
Soul,
Tools
From the past
Don't ask
Just accept what you feel
Because
That is how you begin to
Know.
-Sunny
