Happy New Fear
I've never seen the new year as washing away the old, unpacking the new. Not anymore than today and tomorrow can do. But so much more resets around this time of year. Taxes. Birthdays. Holidays. Anniversaries. All burdens to bum who consistently celebrates a different way.
I'm not going to get into where I have been, or what I want for this change of calendar. I just want to feel ok. Right now. I want to find where the arsonist inside me went. I'm not looking forward to midnight to pop bottles. I never needed an occasion, reason, or even time of day to start drinking. Someone's falling out of love somewhere right?
I want to pull these blinders back so my tunnel vision doesn't have me focusing on everything wrong. I know there are still worlds to discover. I just learned about fried avocado the other day. Why hasn't anyone told me about fried avocado!?!? I want my muse to change already. This time of year is supposed to be people in general, not the people I'm in a relationship with.
I want gasoline filled streets. A short fuse on my attitude. And sparks in everyone's eyes. I want fried avocado right now. The calendar year doesn't change anything. I feel like its just another form of captivity. Linear time. I'm experiencing music slower, or faster I guess. How detailed I perceive the things around me is changing so I could care less what day it is let alone year. I'm just tired of digging graves where beds are supposed to be. Dying instead of dreaming. There are no new beginnings. Just changes of hearts and minds. And finding something new to experience. Fried Avocado, I'm coming after you...
-DCR
Rather Be Sleeping
The truth is, I’d rather be sleeping.
Compelled from my much needed rest several times as week, to sit in the dark trying to make sense of the deeper layers of my subconscious, at a certain level all there is, is pain, regret, and longing for a second chance. If only to say I'm sorry, I miss you, or thank you.
These are emotions that don't come out to play much during the day light hours, but rather lay in wait for moments of weakness. Always hiding beneath the surface, the truth is , I have made a lot of mistakes.
I’ve also been extremely lucky, and fought hard to learn from each and every one of those mistakes. I know I'm not perfect, and I never will be, and that is part of what makes me and every other human on this planet beautiful.
But sometimes the darkness is too bright to stand, the words lose their meaning, all songs sound the same, and all I want to do is go back to sleep. But its too late for that, I’ve been awake for far too long to just forget. Besides its almost morning, and these demons certainly aren't going to put themselves back in their cages.
-Joshua Genius
Time Capsule
When the clock strikes midnight,
My ball gown won't disappear,
I won't lose my glass slipper,
And I won't reset myself
To normal.
When the new year hits,
I will be the same woman
I've always been,
Just a little bit older,
A little bit wiser,
And a little less willing to
Remember the bad memories.
I want to stay the time capsule,
A restart on the art of memories,
Captured and hidden away
In the cavities
Of my mind.
I know the consequences
Of 2013-
A year of love, loss,
Disappointment and excitement.
I am a time capsule,
So I remember you,
Even though you left.
I remember when you held me
And kissed me goodbye.
When you first called me poet.
When I first learned that
"I'm sorry" had little to do with
Being wrong and a lot to do
With being too proud.
Don't think I've forgotten
Your simple gestures,
The friendly hug,
The airport greeting,
The Facebook meeting.
The first time I wrote CLW
On an email.
I can't just start over,
Like an hourglass
Resetting back to normal.
I've never been normal,
But I will keep my memories
As tokens of kindness bestowed
Upon me throughout the years,
And I won't forget our stories.
2014 is not the end of a story,
But rather the cliffhanger chapter,
Leading me on to 365 more pages
Blank and empty for me
To tell my next tale,
Recite my next poem,
Revisit a memory.
I am rich with stories,
And ours isn't over yet,
Because as long as there is
Breath in our lungs,
Blood in our hearts,
I will be voyaging
Through the memory banks
And shores of serendipity,
To recollect my treasures,
Memories and stories,
All captured in
The time capsule
Called "New Beginnings."
-Seraphine The Poet
An Unoriginal New Beginning
One month ago, I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was a new beginning with an underlying theme as old as time itself: the uprooting of a way of life to strive for something better. I believe new things are, more often than not, better things. And now, with this New Year dawning, everything in my life seems fresh.
The sun rises late here; so, unlike my last locale, I see it more often. It lights up the mountains that were lost to the night sky and takes the nip out of the air. Every time the sky begins to brighten, I’m almost surprised to find mountains on the eastern horizon. And though they are new to me, they have personally seen the sunrise more times than I could ever conceive. There are about a million people situated to see this amazing, daily event, and I am hopeful that even half of them are awake and are excited to see the snow topped mountains.
With the new and wonderful admiration of a new city comes the sometimes crippling realization that I am a stranger here. Starting a social circle is one of my lesser-adept qualities. A mixture of shyness and a demand to be noticed makes for often unfruitful outings. Chuck Palanuik’s concept of “single-serving friends” plays a great role when trying to settle in my new surroundings. Each venture out of the house holds the promise for conversations with strangers.
While I am un-endingly amazed by the new adventures being thrown my way, this city can also be a scary place. With my quintessential “new beginning” at the beginning of the New Year, I am confident that things will forever turn for the better.
-Amanda Watkins
A New Beginning
I am not one for change; I never have been. New ideas or concepts scare the life out of me. Literally, fear keeps me from truly living my life. So it's no surprise the first day of every year is spent hiding, timidly, under the covers on my bed, simply waiting for the sun to sink under my window. Many think a new year provides a fresh start, yet for me it's a reminder what abblank slate my life is. Yes, I have a past, but present and future? Not so much. Overwhelming and consuming, the emptiness taunts me. There are a multitude of opportunities for me to take, but the fear of not knowing holds me back. It's high time I put those fears aside and live my life. I always thought resolutions were silly. Most are stereotypical and a dime a dozen; normally lasting until mid February before being tossed aside and forgotten. It's sort of like that hideous sweater your grandmother gave you for Christmas. You stuff the resolution in the darkest area under your bed, and pretend you forgot all about it. I refuse to be that way this year. This yesr, I have one resolution, and three steps to accomplish it. I will live my life by letting fear wash down the drain, learning everything I can from the God given textbooks I call my eyes, and remembering a resolution is an absolute statement. Living my life, my way, is the only way I will ever find myself. I know once I find myself, all the other elements in my life will reassemble themselves. I am starting this very moment, by climbing out of bed, and looking my future in the eyes. Here's to confidently stating "I've got this!" Here is to new beginnings and living my life to the fullest.
-Steph
Fresh
I guess my love is greater then my fear & I know now.
Who even said we had to be here
It is just a blessing
Resting the pieces of a broken heart
Release the internal demons that I have now named amore and hate
Doesn't exist without the depth of your heart
They sing the same song
In different tunes.
My soul transcends earthy matters when you walk into the room.
I had no idea I was even capable of feeling. So. Much. Lust
Tricks with our corizon
But don't tell the moon to spill my secrets because I will make them make love to your being until a fleeting feeling never goes away. Do I speak to you like your personal thoughts or am I just clutter in your psyche
This poem started out about over coming fears and one of them is to be loved.
-Sunny
Twenty 13's
Shots were fired.
Children ran.
So did my fears
So did her hopes, and dreams.
And his credit score.
So did their property value.
Plus the subsidized loans on some pussy fell thru.
Nightmares
of a rape victim
getting felt up.
Zanax still
sitting sideways
in a passed out
kids stomach.
Few understand why soldiers
are making hard decisions
like kill skill set capital
or under unemployment.
I don’t understand why
my momma doesn’t
understand why
the garbage disposal
sets me off.
…If you don’t see the switch flipped…
…In case you don’t see the switch flipped…
Tomorrow will steal a perfectly good smile from a stranger
just so You can learn to pray it forward from there on.
Tomorrow will fold flirtatious into an eye lid.
And dream of genie blinks and puppy dog tails.
Tomorrow will shave the price
on mortgage note marriages
so happiness wouldn't need
to be refinanced.
Tomorrow will steal a perfectly good smile from a stranger in your mirror.
Tomorrow wants to fail miserably
at learning a new language
just so I can perfect loving
everything about my own.
Tomorrow doesn't exists
but if it did it would
finally tell life it’s a bitch
And smile beautifully as it tries its best to move forward from there on. I mean from here on.
-CP Maze
Schmuck Dynasty.
OK I guess this is the second part of a rant I started last week.
Phil Robertson the patriarch of the cable T.V. show ‘Duck Dynasty’ has yet again expressed his ideologies and ‘wisdom’ in a video that was recorded in 2009.
In the video he states his belief that men need to marry girls as young as 15 years old (he married his wife when she was 14) and that they need to make sure that the girl can cook, so eat a few of her meals to see.
Also he states that if the men leave getting married to girls who are in their twenties, essentially they will not be virgins.
Something about ‘picking ducks’ or some ill attempt at trying to talk in some redneck ‘code’ that no one else but dumb-tard hillbillies can understand.
Yeh right!
I guess when I said ‘fuck a duck’ last week I was right on track.
That’s perhaps one of the traits in Conservatives/Republicans that totally pisses me off. They actually believe that other people who aren’t morons don’t know what they’re really saying.
He also states that she (meaning young girls) should carry a bible which, along with a being a virgin and a good cook is the perfect trifecta for good old Phil.
This kind of bullshit drives me crazy, along with A&E totally supporting this family of ‘millionaires’ and ‘Christians’ (who are college educated), be perpetrated as if they’re poor God fearing folk like you would see in most rural places. The beards of the sons were all grown for the T.V show and normally they would be in suits.
It just ‘fits’ better to have them all wear overalls, beards, and USA bandanas.
I will leave you with a tag line of a great movie that I watched last night as I have on a few occasions that kinda ties in a little.
America-Fuck yeh!
Happy New Year from ‘The Dogs Bollocks’ and keep up the good fight.
-TDB
January 3, 2014
