Not Your Average Christmas List
Dear Santa,
During a time in which
I ought to be thankful
For all the gifts I’ve been
Granted throughout
My short, short life,
I wonder if I’m
So ungrateful that
I write out my
Christmas Wish List
Months in advance.
Dear Santa,
What could I possibly
NEED this Christmas
That I haven’t already
Been blessed with
Throughout my 19 years?
Dear Santa,
Instead of a wish list
Filled with the newest
And coolest gadgets,
Can I see my family?
Can I cry at my sister’s wedding?
Watch my niece reach 18 months?
Can I dance and party all night
With people who share
My blood and love
For getting tipsy?
Dear Santa,
I know I’m asking a lot,
But can you send aid
To the Philippines,
And to Syria
And to Ukraine
And to Israel
And to Iran…?
Dear Santa,
They need gifts
Of love and forgiveness
And safety far more
Than I need to one up
An opponent at a poetry slam
Or need to spit my verses
In spite.
Poetry is more than that.
Dear Santa,
I want to give packages
Of empathy and
Open-mindedness to those
Who need it most.
Dear Santa,
This being my first year
Up north and all,
Please let winter be mild
And hearts to not grow
Icy cold with the change
Of seasons.
I know it is still autumn,
But the leaves have fallen,
And branches stand bare
Beneath cloudy skies,
As a promise of winter’s coming.
Dear Santa,
Don’t forget about those lost
This Christmas.
Those who don’t have a steady
Path toward redemption—
Teach them of the green light
And the red light and the white light
Hanging on our trees and our porches.
Light a candle in the window,
Like the Amish,
As an invitation to come inside.
This change doesn’t have to be
So harsh and cold,
If we offer the warmth,
Scarves and jackets and boots,
Hand to hand,
Winter can come.
Dear Santa,
I wish for unity.
Can you make that wish come true?
Sincerely,
A little girl, trying to change
A very, very big world.
-Seraphine The Poet
Release
Fear of success only travels so far
Internal motivation over trepidation
Proves
Unmeasurable strength
Growth is not metric and the subjectivity only meets meaning with understanding
Progress does not fit into expectations and doing unto others
Loses its meaning when we take ourselves out of it
Transformations begin from within and we have it in us all along
Belonging is temporary but helping someone release them from themselves lasts forever.
Letting go is an art and we all paint different pictures presented from the heart
The power of emotion can never be accounted for, but it can embraced
Traces of creation lye in the ability to be in the space of empathy
And no one ever said it would be easy
After nine years of dedication to my academic goals I have reached a pinnacle
A height that produces a vision, the one I expected all along and the aerial view
Is more humble than projected because I ended up allowing myself
To lose all I came with and learn how to constantly reinvent myself and the world around me
Life is perspective and depending on how you turn to view your hue
The color will always shine in a different light
And be mindful because the plight has all been worth it.
Gratitude has been a skipping stone that creates waves every time
I let go and allow the Most High to set the tone
Never let anyone tell you how to narrate your journey
The soul travels alone into the pockets of the world’s unknown
And paradigms begin to shift when we lift superficial veils and see with
The true eyes of our heart.
Give thanks for this blessing, and now we part the path.
-Sunny
You were wrong about me
Mirrors show us what our eyes can see. Your reflection is only as good as your vision. In a relationship, you gain a talking mirror with eyes of its own. Sometimes the mirror will tell you “You’re beautiful”. Sometimes it’ll say “You drink too much.” But as long as it says “I love you” before we sleep, it’s ok for the most part. After twenty-two years of life I’ve seen a pattern: Mirrors trying to make people fit into their frame, people refusing to change. Mirror and People split ways. People become everything the mirror said it should be. I’ve seen this happen in my own relationships and those around me. I wonder why. Why do they do it AFTER it’s over? Why change at all now? And does the fucken mirror even know what it’s talking about!?
In my last relationship, she didn’t like the fact that I drank and had smoked a few times in my day. She strongly disliked my admiration for Jenna Jameson and Marilyn Manson. Also, that sex had become more of a going through the motions rather than something intimate. These were the differences between us. The crack in the floor we’d throw everything into rather than getting over it. My taste for wine was the start of many fights. Since she cared not for my friends, alcohol was never associated with her in my mind. I started blazing more socially with certain friends rather than the yearly “I’m so drunk, why not give it a try” that I was accustomed to. And of course my defense of Jenna’s theatrical skills and Manson’s artistic talent. These were shunned by her. Everything she despised about me.
Several months after the break up we’d find ourselves talking in a civilized manner. No yelling, no blaming, just simple honest conversation. She was still as beautiful as ever, yet a completely different person. Now her nights consist of getting drunk, blazing it up, and sex for the sake of going through the motions. It’s like a cruel joke from God that we both ended up here on different paths when we started on something so much more meaningful together. Why such a drastic change? Why did she become everything she hated about me?
My “friend” just recently separated with his wife, still in the process of divorce. Some of her reasons for leaving she stated was his anti-club tendencies, his trouble with communicating feelings, and lack small romantic gestures. He was fine with who he was until she left, then changed everything about him. So many things she pointed out and I don’t understand. I catch myself doing the same thing. One mirror points one thing out, and I keep my reflection there, but change it in another mirror. I remember the person she was, and I’d do anything to give her reflection back. Instead of talking her into bars and a few drinks. My defense of “it’s JUST weed”. And most importantly turning sex from something intimate to a cheap substitution for something we can’t give ourselves…meaning love. I had to clarify for all the people in the Gutter.
I’ve seen this happen often and still trying to understand people and myself. Why we do these things without thinking. Why the change comes natural and subtle like age so we don’t even notice it happening until we use our own eyes with a quite mirror. Comparing it to the reflection we held in our eyes so many mirrors ago.
-DCR
Excerpts from the Razors Edge
I had a kindergarten teacher who for an entire whole year savagely beat my knuckles with a thick ass ruler. She tried to knock the creativity right outta my left hand. Didn’t cry much. Just sat there eye to eye in my desk and stood still. Statue.
The first time I was threatened by investigative court marshals in the Marines I just stood there silent and eye to eye with the Staff Sergeant and Petty Officers and didn’t move or say a single word. I was statue. No matter what happened I knew my code wouldn’t be broken. Statue. No matter what, I was going to be left standing still. Statue. My IQ and my code would always be left standing still. A statue of limitations. I think not.
If I were to tell you all of the things my family has done I don’t know if you would give me a standing ovation or simply stand no where the fuck beside me. The last of a dying breed was my kindgarden childhood nickname. I was heavy chips off the old hood blocks. I fear my heart has become harden.
If it wasn’t for all of these literary agents
I have serving undercover swerving
for my muses
I wouldn’t know myself.
Cum Laude
-cpmaze-
December 7, 2013
Congratulations
Ms. Sunny Alexander on the successful completion of your Masters Degree