The Solo Road Is Calling

By J. Raul Rodarte (aka Raul the Poet)

Papers, Numbers, Computers, Crunch, Screens, Deadlines, Pens, Coffee, Ink, Desk, Room, Clicking… Let’s face it; it’s hard describing the sound of a day. A mixture of the work mixed with family, friends and a variety of responsibilities. We can hear it in our minds; the sounds, the people, the relationships and politics. You can’t escape the feeling that you can’t escape. And when you run out of reasons to stay but are lacking that “one reason” to go… do what I do… medicate with a solo road trip. Usually I’m the anti medicate yourself guy but with this I say… medicate but medicate wisely with a solo road trip.

Solo road trips are not the solution to a bad working environment but it can be an enchantment to your story or a pinch of salt to flavor your bitter morsel. Everyone needs a solo road trip. Everyone! Even new lovers who “would die” to be apart from their love or soccer moms who feel it’s too dangerous to travel on their own. Come on, these are just selfish, untrusting and, quite frankly, somewhat co-dependent stalker level excuses for not spreading your wings, creating a story, and learning about yourself.

A good friend once commented, “You’re just running away from your problems” and my response was “Yeah, I am.” But I’m not moving away from my problems. I’m just taking a breather. I am reminding myself that I am still me. I explained that the trick to any solo road trip is to escape the day to day in order to remember who you are as an individual. To think through how the real you is responding to the story of your life. Responding to the problems you face. The goal is to see the bigger picture… or at least more of it through the eyes of the real you.

Socrates stated, “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. “ Escape your daily hell to be able to go back to your daily life. It’s all perspective. Perspective can heal a tired soul. Perspective is faith refocused. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. What are we not seeing in our daily lives? What hope have we forgotten we have?

Most times we don’t see our own God given strength and the hope in our own abilities because we depend on others to take care of us. For most, taking on the road alone is a scary adventure. And you know what? It is scary. Anything can happen. It’s also beautiful because anything can happen. I’ve known too many people who have never gone out of town alone, teens who will only go out in groups of friends, and adults who will not eat alone in a restaurant. It’s scary to depend on yourself. There is a social stigma that comes with being a party of one. No lie. But life is sometimes like a video game. The more you build on the confidence of self accountability the more experience points you compile and soon you level up, or man up, or ovary up… whatever you want to call it.

One of my favorite lines in the film Green Street Hooligans is when Matt, the wimpy American, realizes he’s not as fragile as he once thought. After he gets into a fight with a bunch of Irish futbol fans he states, “I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer. I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away. And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me. Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go.” I’m not saying go get in a fight in order to feel alive. We see Matt’s character arc slowly built up his confidence one step and life event at a time. His story. What are your mini stories like? Are you building?

Sometimes we need to experience a story that is only yours, even if it’s small. A story where you are the adventurer and hero. A story where YOU drove ALONE for an hour to the next town and stayed the night. You made your choices for food and shelter. YOU listened to whatever music YOU wanted to. You saw …BLANK, did …BLANK, noticed …BLANK. Your story. Only you know it. You pushed your limitations and now you are a better person for it. It’s empowering. I've heard it say that "it's the journey that changes us." The choices and reactions that break and build us. It doesn’t take much to create small side stories. Small victories.

In the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life Donald Miller states, “And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal; you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time.” It’s true, you can’t unlearn life experiences but through good and bad experiences you grow. Every story, even painful stories, can be a good story. You only need to build on it, learn from it.

I had an interesting moment on a solo road trip to Arizona that changed my world view.

April 2011: Flagstaff Arizona. Sitting in the lobby of the hostel after breakfast, I had a conversation with an 18yr old Juan Luke from the west coast of France near Nantes. He was a normal looking teen. Quiet, reserved and patiently waiting for the Star Trek joke made about his name. He was a normal teen, except he had been traveling alone for about seven months across the ocean to the United States. He was on his way to join an internship in the Grand Canyon to study environmental conservation. He was 17 when he left home to pursue in his field of passion. He would be living in the hostel for one more month before the internship began then he’d move into an apartment with other interns. He was excited, scared, and had no idea what was next or if he was making the right choice. We had a simple conversation and then never saw each other again.

When I was 17 my day consisted of borrowing the car to go hang out with my girlfriend. My family didn’t travel much. Once a year we’d go to Juarez to visit family I didn’t know and every other year, we’d go to the lake with our church. When I was 17 I drove my sister to the airport in Lubbock, Texas. Two hour drive there and two hours back. I drove back alone. It was invigorating and scary. I had never been alone on the road before. I felt so free, nervous and self aware. Thirteen years later I meet Juan Luke. He was traveling the world on his own at 17. Gaining experience points with every day gone by and every person he met. On the drive home I made a promise to myself that, though I started off late, I’d be creating a new story every opportunity I have. This solo road trip focused my hope. Brought me new faith and healed my tired soul. I returned to work with a new perspective. I was better for it. I do good work because it’s my means to my goals.

We can’t all be world travelers. Some of us are made for it better than others BUT everyone needs a solo road trip. A moment that goes from “I Can Do This!” to “I Did This!” I implore you, please, go ahead and expand from your world. Small steps. Save up some cash, find some days off, take a solo road trip and experience life on purpose. Build your confidence. Be afraid yet courageous. Go! Spend some time in silence, crank up your music, meet a new person and return to your daily grind with a new spirit. New air in your lungs. New experience locked in your chest. New perspective burning in your eyeballs. A story that is yours alone. No one can take that away from you.